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| My latest sin - steamed Brussels sprouts! |
So, it figures that days after I wrote my last post, about how I had finally transitioned to an all-raw, low-fat lifestyle, I fell off the wagon and started eating cooked foods again! Only difference is, this time I'm happy to be off the wagon, and don't feel like a failure. No regrets whatsoever. I am actually feeling great about it, like I broke through to the next phase in my journey rather than fell back into old habits.
What has happened is this: for two years now I've been focused on attaining this ideal, on seeing myself as this 100% raw vegan trailblazer with uncompromising views about what constitutes a healthy diet, even if it meant preparing three (and sometimes four) different menus at every meal to accomodate my family members, even if it meant coming across as a condescending know-it-all to all those not on this path, even if it meant spending 400.00+ euros a month in bananas alone, and even if it meant ultimately feeling trapped in a restrictive prison I myself had created.
The raw dishes that had kept me pretty satisfied for a couple of years, like zucchini spaghetti with raw marinara sauce, had slowly begun to lose their appeal, until they became downright depressing. I wasn't even looking forward to my 64oz banana smoothies, once one of the staples of my raw food diet.
So last week, after being unhappy for a while, I came clean and said enough. I had to find another way, because continuing on the 80/10/10 path just wasn't going to happen. That evening, I coincidentally (or not so coincidentally) got an email from Frederic Patenaude, a raw-food guru from whom I'd ordered an ebook about dental health a few days earlier.I checked out his blog posts about his reasons for switching from a 100% raw lifestyle to a diet where he allows himself certain cooked foods. I so related to him! Everything I read in that post really resonated with me - I was having the same exact experience.
One of the most interesting aspects, and perhaps the most telling, of my re-transitioning to eating some cooked foods is that I haven't craved any "comfort" cooked foods at all - things I used to love, like pasta, risotto, bread, mashed potatoes, etc... what I was craving lately were steamed vegetables, those that I'd previously cut out because they're pretty much inedible raw: Brussels sprouts, leeks, green beans, and snow peas. This tells me that my "relapse" isn't psychological. I am so content eating a huge plate of steamed broccoli, and feel so satisfied afterwards. Surely binging on broccoli can't be considered "emotional eating? I've done plenty of binging back in my day, and this doesn't resemble it.
Time will tell, but five days into allowing some cooked foods back in my diet (chickpeas, sweet potatoes, and beans), I feel great! Not so stuffed and bloated as when I made myself consume huge amounts of fruit to feel satiated (even when the last thing I wanted to eat was fruit). So far, I find that I feel the best when I start my meals with some fruit or freshly squeezed fruit juice, followed by some steamed vegetables/roots and a salad. If I get hungry between meals, then it's fruit. As a note, I should point out that I'm still keeping my fat intake to a minimum ... seasoning-wise, I've been favoring a tiny bit of olive oil and balsamic vinegar, and a bit of dijon mustard. I know, olive oil isn't a "whole food" and vinegar isn't good for your either, but I figure in small quantities I can deal with it, if they make everything else possible long term.
